- BC Games
I'm going to be rich, rich rich!
ROM: ArchBishop Makgoba <firstname.lastname@example.org>
SUBJECT: Speaking Engagement!
God’s blessing Arthur! We hope this message meets you in good health.
I am Thabo Makgoba, ArchBishop of Diocese of Christ the King, South Africa. On behalf of the Church, I am elated to inform you that we would love to engage your services to speak and educate our congregation as our goal of organizing this seminar is to enact success and leadership traits plus motivation in the congregation who are business-minded personnels and aspiring youth.
Please, we would gladly like for you to convey to us your availability for Next month as it will fit in your schedule.
Also, please we would as well appreciate if you get in-touch with us in ample time so we can start corresponding the details.
ArchBishop Thabo Makgoba
Diocese of Christ the King
Cape Town, South Africa
My dear Archbishop:
God’s Blessings right back atcha, Archy! It’s not every day I get invited to address a church full of business-minded personnels and aspiring youths in South Africa!
Mind you, I am waiting to hear back from another fella in your neck of the woods, so to speak.
He’s in Nigeria — used to be secretary to a Nigerian dictator, no less!
He wants to cut me in on a deal that will net me $3.6 million U.S.
Seems the dictator was deposed and fled the country but forgot to take his money with him.
My contact wants to use my Canadian bank account to transfer $36 million out of Nigeria. My cut is ten percent — $3.6 million. Easy money, huh?
Well, not quite that easy. My contact says he needs to bribe a bank official in Lagos and could I please wire him $5,000 to make sure the deal goes through.
Well, Arch, I figure what the hey? Five grand to make three and a half million bucks? Who wouldn’t jump at that?
Trouble is, all my liquid cash is tied up in Moose Pasture stocks right now and I don’t have five grand to spare.
But if a guy expects to make a buck in this world he better be innovative and enterprising, am I right, Archy? So here’s how I figure it could work:
I’ll fly to Capetown next month, speak and educate your congregation in order to enact success and leadership traits and motivation, then I hop over to Lagos, pick up my $3.6 million from my Nigerian friend — and Bob’s your uncle!
From you I’ll need first-class airfare Vancouver-Capetown-Lagos-Vancouver and five-star hotel accommodation in both Capetown and Lagos.
I know crime is a bit of a problem in your city, so I’ll also require an armoured car with chauffeur plus licensed and bonded bodyguards.
Oh yes, and I’ll require my speaker’s fee in advance. My fee is $5,000, coincidentally enough!
Kindly send a certified cheque along with the airline tickets and hotel reservations.
Looking forward to doing business with you, Archy! As Bogie once said in another African town “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
Arthur Black is a regular columnist. He lives on Salt Spring Island.