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Hospice is a place to share experiences

Learning to deal with the death of loved ones means taking solace and support in the people around you.
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Patricia Buswell

“Hospice is not all dying and depression, it offers a kind of hope, shows people how to keep living,” explains Patricia Buswell.

Buswell was a client of the Oceanside Hospice Society while her husband Richard was dying of dementia, and then she became a board member and volunteer.

“I was so impressed with the services, and I was looking for a way to get back out of the house after three years of isolation,” she said of being her husband’s primary caregiver.

“When it got to the point that I couldn’t physically deal with it anymore I volunteered as a way to get back out into the world and give something back.”

She started as a board member and then wanted to find out more about what the volunteers did on the ground level and started volunteering in other areas of the large organization.

Oceanside Hospice has over 80 volunteers, with the majority of them doing various forms of one on one work with palliative patients or their caregivers and families, explained program co-ordinator Jean Wilson.

They offer a wide range of services from providing information and liaison services on palliative care and dying to the group and one on one services through everything from respite for caregivers to hospital vigils.

“We offer support for caregivers who often don’t realize they are burning out,” Wilson said.

“People are so busy fighting the illness, going through treatment etc., once they are no longer able to fight there is no time left, no transition. It makes me sad. People are exhausted and have no time for each other.”

But Wilson also stressed the importance of volunteer areas like home delivery through their equipment loan program for everything from walkers to electric beds.

“It’s not a huge time commitment, but it is a huge contribution,” she said pointing out they always need volunteers and they have people of all ages from their mid-20s up.

She said volunteers get a lot out of their experience and the interaction with clients.

“Most people don’t think they need much help unfortunately,” said Bill Duncan who also got to know hospice as a client when his wife Cathy was dying and then became a volunteer.

“In my experience a number of people, when they have relatives and kin pass, they are grieving in a quiet place,” he said, stressing the importance of having people to share the experience.

“We live all these years taking care of ourselves, we’re trained not to rave, but when I started talking and saw I didn’t destroy myself by saying it, there was an aura of freedom,” Duncan said of the importance of hospice counsellors, for those who do have family support, and even more for those who don’t.

“There’s a lot of denial of death, people put up a guard around themselves. Your armaments allow you to keep functioning and it’s not easy to be free and take down your defenses, there are people here that help you do that and not fall apart.”

“It was a relief to find someone who could stand to hear all my feelings, without fear of judgment is the key thing. You’re free to share anything you need ... or not,” he said, stressing there is no pressure.

He said this is the same for volunteers and it is easy to find areas you are comfortable with.

While both Duncan and Buswell started as clients, Wilson said that is not the most common route for their volunteers.

She said in an area with so many retirees there are a lot of people who are looking for a more meaningful pastime than golf.

“People really connect at a heart level, it makes the overwhelmingness of dying more palatable,” Wilson said.

“It’s like a warm blanket,” said Buswell who was going to grief support groups while she was taking care of her husband and kept going after he died.

“Hospice offers so many wonderful services, the self care clinic, therapy, healing hands touch, Reiki ...” she said.

“Hospice is as much about supporting the caregivers as the actual palliative people,” explained Wilson, explaining they have three basic areas of service, for people grieving, the caregivers, and the palliative people themselves.

Oceanside Hospice is a non-profit, mostly volunteer driven organization that doesn’t receive Vancouver Island Health Authority funding. Their services are free but donations are much appreciated.

Check online at www.oceansidehospice.com, call them at 250-757-6227 or stop by their house at 210 Crescent Road West, Qualicum Beach for more on their services and/or volunteer opportunities.

reporter@pqbnews.com



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