Good things are coming in 2013

If you're going to make predictions, they might as well be happy ones

They say predicting the future is a mug’s game, and that could well be true.

However, as a reporter I am fully aware that a mug is several steps up the social ladder from my own profession, so, purely in the interest of my ongoing campaign of social climbing, I’m willing to give it a shot.

Let’s start at the top and work our way down.

The top, to many people, would involve God, or at least he, she or its representative on earth, the church.

I predict the various churches will discover they’ve rooted out all the bad eggs and as a result there won’t be a single headline in 2013 about a member of the clergy not being able to keep his clergy member to himself.

Moving down to the international level, I predict that the world’s uber-rich will stop being so jaw-droppingly greedy and chip in massively to social causes, making the world a better place for everyone.

Catching the spirit, American President Barak Obama will declare the time of American imperialism over and will close the vast majority of the more than 700 military bases around the globe. In a joint statement with Republican House leader John Boehner, Obama will then vow to leave no stone unturned until every Wall Street banker who crashed the economy is hauled into court to face charges of fraud.

I also predict good news in Ottawa. Stephen Harper will stand firm in a newfound determination to keep Canadian troops out of harm’s way by eschewing costly and dangerous foreign adventures. That way, he’ll say, the nation will be able to truly support our troops — with increased benefits, retirement packages and healthcare services.

I predict Mr. Harper will also surprise us by having a sincere change of heart after meeting with Attawapiskat Chief Theresa Spence in a warm discussion beside the Ottawa River. From now on, he will say, his government will get serious about consulting with Canada’s First Nations in all areas of concern. As well, he will add, Canada will once again become a leader in environmental protection.

“Now come on,” he’ll say, gently helping his newfound friend to her feet, “I brought some burgers … Alberta beef.”

In this province, the Liberal government will initiate a public inquiry into what really happened with the sale — oops, I mean 999-year lease — of B.C. Rail, vowing to get to the bottom of it in a timely, open and transparent manner. Premier Christy Clark will also fast track ferry consultations, committing whatever resources are necessary to get all the facts and opinions in and boiled down in time to take a position on the future of the fleet before the next provincial election.

In Parksville, deliberations about the new official community plan will draw record crowds as city residents finally begin to take an active interest in municipal affairs.

Qualicum Beach, I predict, won’t get one big piece of good news, but rather, it will come in dribs and drabs as all five members of the municipal council agree to put jealousies aside, work as a team and sincerely forgive past trespasses.


So call me Pollyanna. Happy 2013 everybody. It’s going to be a  great year!