HORNER: Hey, if it works in the Senate

Parksville Qualicum Beach News columnist writes a letter to Revenue Canada

Dear Revenue Canada:

I got your latest letter the other week and thanks so much for writing, although I have to say I was a little taken aback by your tone.

From what I gather, you seem to be quite upset about a few of my latest tax returns.

Well, right off the bat I want to say there’s no reason to get upset about this. Emotions just cloud the issue. I know it has been a few weeks since you first brought this up, but I was kind of hoping you would have cooled off by now — or even just … gone away.

You aren’t going away though … right?

So with that in mind, I suppose this is probably as good an opportunity as any to set the record straight.

It is possible that I may have made a mistake on my tax forms.

I believed I was in compliance with all the rules when I filled out those forms — which are confusing — but it turns out I may have been mistaken in that regard.

I don’t believe I owe you any money, but this has become a major distraction, so my girlfriend and I discussed it and we decided that in order to turn the page, to put all of this behind us, we are going to voluntarily pay back all the money we received as the result of what, really, is just an accounting error.

One thing you might want to think about in future is to make those tax forms less confusing so other people like me will not be caught in this problem. I mean, I’ve made my living as an investigative journalist for more than 20 years and even I can’t figure them out. All those ticks and boxes and yesses and nos …

You know, I could just as easily have erred the other way and ended up paying far more than I should have. The fact that the mistake — and that form was confusing — turned out to be tens of thousands of dollars to my benefit is just the luck of the draw, nothing more.

Hey look, come on, you remember me! It’s the Neilster! You’ve known me for years and you know that I would never do anything that was inappropriate and I would never, ever take advantage of my position in any kind of inappropriate way!

To recap then, I’m paying back the money, I’ve provided useful input into the future makeup of tax forms and I’ve told you that you can trust me.

So that should pretty much put this all behind us, right guys?

Guys?

Just Posted

The proposed running track upgrade at Ballenas Secondary is now on course. (PQB News file photo)
RDN: Parksville track upgrade project gains some traction

Staff recommends board approve $204,000 funding

The total earnings of Town of Qualicum Beach council and mayor amounted to $186,649 in 2020, including expenses. (Town of Qualicum Beach photo)
Nine Qualicum Beach town employees earned more than $100K in 2020

Mayor and council received earnings totalling $186,649

(PQB News file photo)
Fireworks report highlights enforcement challenges for Regional District of Nanaimo

Director: ‘I just think it’s wasting everybody’s time’

Terry Mazzei next to a truck after it was struck by lightning, with him inside, on Wednesday afternoon, June 9. He walked away from the incident without injury and the truck sustained only mild damage; a blown front tire and newly broken gas gauge. (Wendy Mazzei photo)
Nanoose Bay man walks away unscathed after lightning strike

VIDEO: ‘We like to think that his dad was watching over him’

Douglas Holmes, current Alberni-Clayoquot Regional District chief administrative officer, is set to take on that position at the Regional District of Nanaimo come late August. (Submitted photo)
Regional District of Nanaimo’s next CAO keen to work on building partnerships

Douglas Holmes to take over top administrator role with RDN this summer

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau participates in a plenary session at the G7 Summit in Carbis Bay, England on Friday June 11, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Adrian Wyld
Canada donating 13M surplus COVID-19 vaccine doses to poor countries

Trudeau says the government will pay for 87 million shots to be distributed to poor countries

Indigenous Services Minister Marc Miller is seen during a news conference, Wednesday May 19, 2021 in Ottawa. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Adrian Wyld
Indigenous child-welfare battle heads to court despite calls for Ottawa to drop cases

Feds are poised to argue against two Canadian Human Rights Tribunal rulings

The Great Ogopogo Bathtub Race has been held in Summerland as a fundraising event. Do you know which Canadian city introduced this sport? (Black Press file photo)
QUIZ: A summer’s day at the water

How much do you know about boats, lakes and water?

Two-year-old Ivy McLeod laughs while playing with Lucky the puppy outside their Chilliwack home on Thursday, June 10, 2021. (Jenna Hauck/ Chilliwack Progress)
VIDEO: B.C. family finds ‘perfect’ puppy with limb difference for 2-year-old Ivy

Ivy has special bond with Lucky the puppy who was also born with limb difference

A million-dollar ticket was sold to an individual in Vernon from the Lotto Max draw Friday, June 11, 2021. (Photo courtesy of BCLC)
Lottery ticket worth $1 million sold in Vernon

One lucky individual holds one of 20 tickets worth $1 million from Friday’s Lotto Max draw

“65 years, I’ve carried the stories in my mind and live it every day,” says Jack Kruger. (Athena Bonneau)
‘Maybe this time they will listen’: Survivor shares stories from B.C. residential school

Jack Kruger, living in Syilx territory, wasn’t surprised by news of 215 children’s remains found on the grounds of the former Kamloops Indian Residential School

A logging truck carries its load down the Elaho Valley near in Squamish, B.C. in this file photo. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Chuck Stoody
Squamish Nation calls for old-growth logging moratorium in its territory

The nation says 44% of old-growth forests in its 6,900-square kilometre territory are protected while the rest remain at risk

Flowers and cards are left at a makeshift memorial at a monument outside the former Kamloops Indian Residential School to honour the 215 children whose remains are believed to have been discovered buried near the city in Kamloops, B.C., on Monday, May 31, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl Dyck
‘Pick a Sunday:’ Indigenous leaders ask Catholics to stay home, push for apology

Indigenous leaders are calling on Catholics to stand in solidarity with residential school survivors by not attending church services

Most Read