It slid out easily, smoothly as my colleague and I sipped our coffees in the sunshine out behind the office – and while each word may not have been exactly a whole new world, there wasn’t a lot of forethought that went into the lie.
“Thanks for the tip,” I said to the rival reporter, doing my best to mask the sharklike quality of my smile.
I wasn’t really thankful of course. The so-called tip he’d passed on to the two of us as he wandered by was for something we’d already covered and followed up two weeks before. But he seemed sincere and I didn’t see a need to burst his bubble and besides, I had a tip to give him in return.
“I guess you’re going to the thing in Qually on Saturday, eh?” I said between sips.
His ears perked up. “What thing?”
“You know, the uh, what is it? The … uh … Pogo for Priapism.”
“Pogo for Priapism,” I repeated. “It’s a fundraiser for some disease of the week or whatever. I think it starts at 10, but don’t quote me on that. You might want to call the town and check.”
Clearly grateful, my rival went on his way.
Sure enough, my rival proved diligent enough to check the time for the event, but not enough to look up the meaning of what he was asking about.
From all accounts, he had to say it twice.
Yeah, I’m good, but the best? Hardly. There are some really amazing pros out there who put my picayune triumphs to shame.
Take my personal hero, Defence Minister Peter McKay for instance. Now there’s a guy who really has it going on!
His promise to David Orchard not to merge the Tories with the Canadian Alliance (Reform) Party during the last leadership convention of the Progressive Conservative Party won him the leadership and shortly thereafter he was able to join the Alliance and Progressive Conservative parties into one, a move which eventually led to the election of the Harper government.
High level stuff, but it was only the start.
There’s also the helicopter incident, where McKay used a military chopper to ferry him from a fishing camp and claimed it was part of a search and rescue exercise.
Oh I know, that’s small potatoes next to the Orchard incident, but then there’s the fighter jets.
Now there’s a whopper, telling Canadians during the election campaign that the F-35s would cost $14 billion when it was really about double that.
A difference in accounting, he said.
Let’s see … good delivery, sticks to his story well, and again, with massive implications for the entire nation.
It’s humbling really.
— Neil Horner is six feet tall and very handsome