One liar humbled by another

Pogo playfulness pales when compared to Peter's pile

It slid out easily, smoothly as my colleague and I sipped our coffees in the sunshine out behind the office – and while each word may not have been exactly a whole new world, there wasn’t a lot of forethought that went into the lie.

“Thanks for the tip,” I said to the rival reporter, doing my best to mask the sharklike quality of my smile.

I wasn’t really thankful of course. The so-called tip he’d passed on to the two of us as he wandered by was for something we’d already covered and followed up two weeks before. But he seemed sincere and I didn’t see a need to burst his bubble and besides, I had a tip to give him in return.

“I guess you’re going to the thing in Qually on Saturday, eh?” I said between sips.

His ears perked up. “What thing?”

“You know, the uh, what is it? The  … uh … Pogo for Priapism.”

“The what?”

“Pogo for Priapism,” I repeated. “It’s a fundraiser for some disease of the week or whatever. I think it starts at 10, but don’t quote me on that. You might want to call the town and check.”

Clearly grateful, my rival went on his way.

Sure enough, my rival proved diligent enough to check the time for the event, but not enough to look up the meaning of what he was asking about.

From all accounts, he had to say it twice.

Yeah, I’m good, but the best? Hardly.  There are some really amazing pros out there who put my picayune triumphs to shame.

Take my personal hero, Defence Minister Peter McKay for instance. Now there’s a guy who really has it going on!

His promise to David Orchard not to merge the Tories with the Canadian Alliance (Reform) Party during the last leadership convention of the Progressive Conservative Party won him the leadership and shortly thereafter he was able to join the Alliance and Progressive Conservative parties into one, a move which eventually led to the election of the Harper government.

High level stuff, but it was only the start.

There’s also the helicopter incident, where McKay used a military chopper to ferry him from a fishing camp and claimed it was part of a search and rescue exercise.

Oh I know, that’s small potatoes next to the Orchard incident, but then there’s the fighter jets.

Now there’s a whopper, telling Canadians during the election  campaign that the F-35s would cost $14 billion when it was really about double that.

A difference in accounting, he said.

Let’s see … good delivery, sticks to his story well, and again, with massive implications for the entire nation.

Nicely done.

It’s humbling really.


— Neil Horner is six feet tall and very handsome



Just Posted

(File photo)
Crime report: Crooks busy pilfering bikes throughout Parksville Qualicum Beach area

Thefts among 295 complaints Oceanside RCMP deal with in one-week period

The Arrowsmith Search and Rescue logo on the back of a service vehicle. (Mandy Moraes photo)
Parksville and Qualicum Beach provide letters of support for Arrowsmith Search and Rescue

ASAR asks for increase in funding, one-time capital grant and for RDN to buy out current facility

The proposed running track upgrade at Ballenas Secondary is now on course. (PQB News file photo)
RDN: Parksville track upgrade project gains some traction

Staff recommends board approve $204,000 funding

The total earnings of Town of Qualicum Beach council and mayor amounted to $186,649 in 2020, including expenses. (Town of Qualicum Beach photo)
Nine Qualicum Beach town employees earned more than $100K in 2020

Mayor and council received earnings totalling $186,649

(PQB News file photo)
Fireworks report highlights enforcement challenges for Regional District of Nanaimo

Director: ‘I just think it’s wasting everybody’s time’

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau participates in a plenary session at the G7 Summit in Carbis Bay, England on Friday June 11, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Adrian Wyld
Canada donating 13M surplus COVID-19 vaccine doses to poor countries

Trudeau says the government will pay for 87 million shots to be distributed to poor countries

Kelowna-Lake Country MLA Norm Letnick, assistant deputy speaker at the B.C. legislature, presides over committee discussions. The legislature is completing its delayed spring session this week, with most MLAs participating by video conference. (Hansard TV)
B.C.’s daily COVID-19 infections dip below 100 over weekend

Only 68 new cases recorded Monday, four additional deaths

Gabriola Island artist Sheila Norgate is promoting the Digital Innovation Group’s art impact survey. (File photo)
Vancouver Island artists get behind regional arts impact study

Artists urged to use their stature to help put arts and culture super-region on the map

The BC Ferries website went down for a short while Monday morning following a provincial announcement that recreational travel between health authorities can resume Tuesday. (Black Press Media file photo)
BC Ferries’ website crashes in wake of provincial reopening announcement

Website back up now, recreational travel between health regions to resume as of Tuesday

Neighbours fight a small late-night bush fire with garden hoses and shovels in Cinnabar Valley on June 5. They couldn’t get help from local fire services because the fire was located in an area under B.C. Wildfire Services jurisdiction. (Photo courtesy Muriel Wells)
Neighbours on edge of Nanaimo city limits left to put out bush fire themselves

Cinnabar Valley residents tackle fire with hoses and buckets for two and a half hours

Darren Campbell’s truck (pictured) was stolen when he stopped to check on a car in a ditch on Cowichan Bay Road on Monday morning. (Facebook photo)
Vancouver Island Good Samaritan’s truck stolen in nasty trick

‘Try to be a Good Samaritan and my $20,000 truck gets stolen right under my nose’

The Kamloops Indian Residential School is photographed using a drone in Kamloops, B.C., Monday, June, 14, 2021. The remains of 215 children were discovered buried near the former school earlier this month. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jonathan Hayward
Communities grapple with what to do with former residential and day schools

Some tear them down as a tool to help healing, others repurpose them as tools for moving forward

Creative handmade signs abound at the June 13 Tofino rally for old growth trees. (Nora O’Malley photo)
VIDEO: Tofino stands in solidarity for Fairy Creek Blockades

Over 150 supporters attend rally hosted by Friends of Clayoquot Sound

FILE – Provincial health officer Dr. Bonnie Henry talks about B.C.’s plan to restart the province during a press conference at Legislature in Victoria, Tuesday, May 25, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Chad Hipolito
B.C. watching U.K.’s COVID struggles but don’t think province will see similar pitfalls

Studies show that one dose of vaccine is only 33 per cent effective in preventing B.1.617.2 spread

Most Read